Are You a Cautious Lover? You May Have Good Reason to be 

Are you a cautious lover because in the past you’ve been surprised by the types of dates you’ve had? When dating, you’ll meet different kinds of people. You may meet the narcissist as well as the abuser.

You may meet the guy who has impeccable manners, the professional, the one with swag, and the oh-so-handsome one. You may still be a cautious lover because you don’t want to do or say the wrong thing that will have him bustin’ a move for the door.

You also may have come to realize that people aren’t always what or who they claim to be. Having a discerning eye and a circumspect attitude when dating is pivotal.

Another person you may encounter when looking for love is the transgender. This individual feels that he or she was born in the wrong body and often takes strides to become the opposite sex.

If you consider yourself to be a cautious lover, here's something else for you to know:

The Two-Way, an online website, says that, “The numbers [of transgenders] fluctuate by state, but they also double the findings from a decade ago: An estimated 1.4 million people – around 0.6 percent of U.S. adults — identify as transgender, according to a new study.”

FTM (female to male)

An ftm (or f2m) is a biological female who identifies as male. This individual may want to transition to male. Taking T (testosterone) will cause:

  • deepening of the voice
  • amenorrhea
  • vaginal atrophy
  • male-pattern baldness
  • an increase in muscle mass
  • redistribution of fat
  • an increase in facial and body hair

Additionally, taking T may result in the ftm’s inability to cry, as well as causing increased anger and increased libido.

Taking it a step further, the trans person may opt to undergo surgical procedures, including mastectomy, getting an Adam’s apple implant, and having bottom surgery.

Bottom surgery includes the construction of a penis (phalloplasty). Surgeons build the shaft of the penis using a flap of skin from the person’s forearm or other areas. At a later time, the surgeon may implant a penile prosthesis, which uses fluid to stiffen the penis. There are also other types of penile implants.

It’s generally more difficult to discern an ftm from an mtf, because a female to male takes testosterone, which produces strong secondary male sex characteristics as mentioned above. However, the skeletal structure will remain the same.

In addition, ftms may retain the soft receptive gaze of the biological female. Biological females also give off feminine energy.

MTF (male to female)

An mtf (or m2f) is a biological male who identifies as female. If he transitions to female, he’ll take the hormones, estrogens and anti-androgens. These result in the development of male secondary sex characteristics:

  • breast growth
  • female-pattern fat distribution
  • testicular atrophy

In addition, taking hormones will likely cause the mtf to experience decreased libido and to become more tearful.

Estrogens will not cause the voice pitch to become higher, decrease facial hair, or a change in facial bone structure.

Since the mtf was born a biological male, he may have a penetrating gaze and give off male energy.

Feminizing surgery or top surgery may include:

  • breast augmentation
  • shaving of the Adam’s apple, jawbone and brow ridge
  • chin reduction in order to give the face an oval shape
  • voice change surgery

Although shaved, the Adam’s apple, jawbone, and the brow ridge have a tendency to regrow. Mtfs often wear turtleneck sweaters or jewelry or scarfs around the neck in order to hide the Adam’s apple.  

Bottom surgery includes the removal of the penis and scrotum and the creation of a vagina and labia.  

Another popular surgery a cautious lover should be aware of is the Brazilian butt lift (bbl). This procedure liposuctions excess fat from the patient’s love handles, abdomen, and lower back and transfers it into the buttocks in order to enhance the size and shape of the buttocks without implants.

Although some trans people have undergone sexual reassignment surgery, their partners--who may not be used to having sex with a transgender--say that sex with an mtf feels different. The mtf’s vagina, among other things, may be shorter than a biological female’s, making intercourse painful.

One of the difficulties the ftm may experience is getting or maintaining an erection.

Since the advancement of surgical procedures, it’s often difficult for a cautious lover to identify trans people. But knowing the skeletal differences between biological males and females will improve discernment.

As A Cautious Lover, You’ll Want to Know Important Skeletal Differences Between Biological Men and Women 

Listed below are some differences between the sexes and, as usual, there are always exceptions to the rule. Some women, to a certain degree, will exhibit characteristics usually attributed to males and vice versa. But in general, you’ll find that the male and female characteristics fit into their perspective categories more often than not.

Are You a Cautious lover? Then check out It gives some insights in the "Difference Between Male and Female Skeleton."

  • The male skull has a bony ridge on the brow. (He has deep-set eyes beneath the brow bone.)
  • The forehead slopes back.
  • The skull is large and square.
  • The cheekbones are high and prominent.
  • The jawbone is angular.
  • Women have a small skull and a vertical forehead. Note that the skeletal features are less thick--the face, oval.
  • Men have a longer, thicker neck to support the large skull.
  • The male skeleton has wide shoulders.
  • The female skeleton has comparatively narrow shoulders.
  • The rib cage of the male skeleton is long.
  • The rib cage of the female is comparatively shorter.
  • The male skeletal torso is shorter with long leg bones.
  • The female skeleton has a longer torso with shorter arm and leg bones.
  • The hips of the male skeleton are narrow—narrower than the shoulders.
  • The hips of the female skeleton are wider to allow for childbearing. The hips are fairly even with the shoulders or wider.

Females are generally shorter in stature than males.

Other differences…

A man’s torso is basically straight up and down.

A woman’s torso has waist indents that give her an hourglass shape.

However an mtf can attain an hourglass figure through rib removal or through corset training, which is wearing a corset to tighten the waist.

Men are more muscular, hairier (except for balding), and have less body fat than women.

Men have an Adonis belt. This refers to the human anatomy that has two shallow grooves running from the hipbone to the pubis. You can see this on the man below, especially on his left side.

This article is in no way an attempt to disparage the trans person. Everyone deserves respect and a right to live the life he or she chooses as long as it does not interfere with the well being of another.

The purpose of this article is to inform those who date—especially a cautious lover—of the possibility that they may have dated, are currently dating, or will date, perhaps unknowingly, a transgender person.

If you have an inkling that something is off about an individual, pay attention. Your subconscious knows; it might be trying to tell you a thing or two.

“You can live a whole lifetime not being awake.” –Dan Millman

Lakna. "Difference Between Male and Female Skeleton." Pediaa.Com. August 13, 2018. Accessed February 28, 2019.

Chappell, Bill. "1.4 Million Adults Identify As Transgender In America, Study Says." NPR. July 01, 2016. Accessed February 28, 2019.

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