Black women dating White men often voice complaints about dating Black men. They offer up a list of reasons why they feel dating white men make life easier for them.
A couple of generations ago, it was uncommon to see interracial couples. Now, you cannot venture out for long before seeing Black women dating White men. The reverse is true—of course—with Black men dating White women as well as other races of women.
Black women dating White men often list several reasons why they do. They state that White men are…
A Black woman I’ll call Vicky told me her views. “I don’t like black men,” she said bluntly. “They’re too aggressive.”
“All of them?” I asked her.
She shrugged. “And they like to play mind games. And they come at you like, ‘Hey, baby…’ They’re just too ghetto.”
“Do you think you’re talking about a certain class of Black man? You certainly can’t say this for Black men across the board.”
Vicky said, “I don’t know. It’s just been my experience that I do better with White men.”
“Have you found lasting love with a White man?”
As one of the Black women dating White men, Vicky doesn’t seem to see much value in the Black man. And therefore, as far as black dating is concerned, she doesn’t seem interested in being a part of it.
Other Black women I spoke with state that say they see a lot of value in the Black man.
They often say that they see strength in him. This strength shows itself by him being…
These Black women also state that they admire the Black man’s creativity as manifested in his exquisite art, music, fashion, inventions, and the like. They also testify to feeling that they have a deep soul connection with the Black man.
This bond in large part has to do with a common culture, a feeling of kinship. This makes for a strong foundation to create a successful future together.
These women are often angry because they feel rejected since so many Black men are dating outside their race. One Black woman said, “If he [Black man] doesn’t want to be with me, then I don’t want to be with him. Two can play this game.”
Sometimes a woman can have a few bad experiences with Black men and feel that she can do better dating someone of a different race. She’ll come to realize that those relationships will also have challenges.
An added challenge—besides getting to know each other and knowing what buttons not to push—of course, centers on racial differences. How will his family treat her and her family treat him? Will friends be supportive of their relationship?
Black women dating White men will often do so out of a belief that might not necessarily be true. Does the White man cheat less than the Black man?
It’s interesting to note that many of the reasons listed above, Black men will ascribe to Black women as well. Some may feel that she’s too aggressive and too loud to boot.
Regardless, the Black woman will need to come to her own conclusion about why she prefers to date outside her race. At some point she’ll probably realize if her reasons for doing so are valid or not.
She may even realize that the characteristics she dislikes in the Black man may be found in herself.
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