When Your Casual Adult Dating Experiences Lead to Heartbreak…

Your casual adult dating experiences will probably take you along the hilltops as well as down into the valleys. In other words, some of your experiences will be joyous, some will not. In the valleys there are various sorrows, among them, heartbreak.

Chris Brown, Justin Bieber, Pat Benatar, and the legend himself, Elvis Presley, sing about the pain of heartbreak. Heartbreak is so agonizing because your emotions have been entrusted to another. And you may not have noticed that the “rug of trust” has just been pulled out from under you.

This sudden implosion of your world can leave you disoriented, angry, revengeful, and tearful. At some point, the ragged, unwanted cloak of loneliness will settle over you, leaving you to feel lost and wandering.

What to Do When Your Casual Adult Dating Experiences Take a Sharp Turn and a Downward Spiral…

  • Keep calm. Don’t get loud in public, start cursing, and throwing things. Don’t get in your car, peel out, and go over his house or on his job to get this “mess” straightened out. People become nervous over someone’s erratic behavior, and you can’t blame them.
  • People don’t know what you’re capable of and they fear they might get hurt. One of the ways people try to restore order is by calling the police. When the police come, they bring their guns, and they’re known to shoot. Therefore, it’s best not to choose this option.
  • Avoid getting on social media to broadcast his business in order to get even with him. Guaranteed, you will regret it. More than likely when you do things out of intense emotion, it will be the wrong thing to do.
  • You’ve heard the saying that you can’t unring a bell. This means that if you do a vengeful act out of anger, when your mind clears, you can’t take back the mean-spirited words you expressed or the dastardly deeds you committed in haste.
  • Avoid drinking alcohol and taking drugs when emotions run high.

These substances cause you to experience a distorted reality. Misperceptions can escalate hurt feelings, making the situation worse. When you recover from ingesting these substances, you’ll feel no better, and the problem will still be there.

Don’t rush into another casual adult dating relationship. Try to figure out what went wrong with this one. If you dash into another relationship, you’ll likely take hurt feelings and disorganization (baggage) into this one. Another person should not have to pay the price for your heartbreak.

When you’re able to think and talk calmly, ask him what went wrong, why he decided to end it with you. Listen without becoming argumentative.

What’s Happening in Your Casual Adult Dating Experiences Needs to Happen for the Next Step in your Evolution

Let the Healing Process Begin...

  • Realize that you can’t make anyone love you.
  • Realize that your self-esteem is not dependent upon someone accepting you.
  • Allow yourself to cry. Feel whatever it is you need to feel. It’s okay.
  • Accept that you might not be with this person ever again even though you thought you were going to spend eternity with him.
  • Review the relationship in your mind. Did you see the breakup coming? There are usually signs. Did you have disagreements that you two were unable to fix? Was it something that you could’ve addressed or worked out? 
  • Don’t look to blame but to understand.
  • Realize that you may have given your heart too easily. If so, take your relationships slower.
  • Walk barefoot in the park. Listen to the birds and smell the flowers. Nature radiates beauty, harmony, and healing.
  • Recite positive affirmations often in order to keep centered.
  • Do breathing exercises to keep calm.
  • Learn to meditate for balancing your mind and spirit.

A breakup is something that most people experience. This world is a school and suffering is part of it. Grow wise from your casual adult dating experiences.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” –Mark Twain

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