These casual dating guidelines will help you explore why your dating experiences have taken you on many emotional journeys. These range from the exhilaration of falling in love to the deep, deep valley of despair.
Although despair can leave you crushed, you at some point usually pull yourself together and venture back onto the dating scene.
A big part of these casual dating guidelines is to help you remember to avoid entering into a new relationship with the same outdated mindset that muddied the waters of your previous relationship.
Casual dating guidelines, properly understood, are meant to help take you from a certain degree of immaturity to a certain degree of maturity.
One scenario that you’ve probably found troubling at some point is when he doesn’t call you after your first date. You’re perplexed. You wonder if you said something that offended him.
He’d seemed relaxed. The conversation centered on a variety of interesting subjects. The two of you had smiled often and were close to the handholding phase.
As far as you know, the date had gone smoothly. So why hasn’t he called? For the past couple of days, you’d stared at your cell phone, vowing not to answer his call on the first ring.
But you didn’t need to concern yourself with that because he didn’t call. Didn’t text. Crickets.
You decide to call him.
Maybe he misplaced your number and he’ll be happy to hear from you.
That’s not what happened, though. And you knew instantly when you heard his voice—that is if he answered your call—that something was amiss. His voice was hesitant, distant.
There were these long awkward pauses. You could hear him breathing. Was it the breath of impatience, with him wanting to get off the phone?
He did not offer to see you again. When you pushed for an explanation, he wasn’t forthcoming with one.
Here’re some reasons he might have for not calling after your date:
Raise your hand if you want to walk into trouble. I see no hands. Well, men do not want to walk into trouble either.
They have enough of their own. When they find themselves in a precarious position, one in which they have no vested interest, they may be quick to ghost you.
Some men will be up front and tell you what made them shy away if you ask them. But others will not.
Realize, however, that sometimes his not calling might have nothing to do with you. His ex might have suddenly reappeared in his life. Or his psoriasis might be flaring up again and he needs to go into hiding.
Keep these casual dating guidelines in the forefront of your mind because during your black dating experiences, you’ll come across the guy who, for whatever reason, will not call you after a date.
If there needs to be self-awareness and improvement on your part, take clues from the list above. If he needs to go his own way, it’s his choice. Regardless, don’t let the experience put a damper on your self-esteem.
When you’re ready, tread wisely into the next relationship.
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