The Dating Black Senior Has Much to Bring to a New Relationship. Here’s Why…  

The dating black senior has likely had at least a few relationships. One or more may have led to marriage and subsequent divorce.

Into the black dating experience, she brings many memories and emotions. She has stories to tell about the men with whom she’d been involved. The dating black senior has experienced happiness and surprise and regret and guilt.

La Donna, a senior citizen, had long struggled with guilt after dating a man named Tony many years ago. She enjoyed many evenings spent with him in deep conversation. He even drove her to her family’s reunion hundreds of miles away from the city where they lived. Precious memories were forged the time spent with family.

Just when La Donna thought they were going to spend a life together, Tony announced that he wanted out of the relationship. Although, he didn’t give her a satisfactory answer as to why, La Donna felt that he wanted to play the field.

They stayed friends for a while until La Donna, out of anger and spite, made a bold and ill-advised move.

La Donna slept with Tony’s best friend. Word got back to Tony, who severed his friendship not only with her, but with his best friend as well.

La Donna realized that revenge had not been sweet. What chance she had of winning Tony back in the future was pretty much null and void. And to cause dissension between the two men didn’t rest well on her consciousness either.

Now, years later, looking for love on the dating black senior scene, La Donna sometimes thinks about Tony and still feels a twinge of guilt every now and then. This guilt has colored her relationships—that is, constituted baggage—with her significant others.

According to the book The Emotion Thesaurus, guilt “is a feeling of culpability over an offense (either real or imagined.)” The book lists some of the physical signals that manifest in the guilty individual. If guilt is acute, she…

  • Reacts defensively
  • Sweats
  • Bites her lip
  • Becomes unnaturally quiet or still
  • Has a quivering chin
  • Frequently touches her hair, neck, or clothing
  • Stares at her feet
  • Inflicts pain on herself
  • If guilt is chronic, it may result in:
  • Insomnia
  • Depression
  • Nightmares
  • Self-loathing
  • Self-mutilation

La Donna was eventually able to forgive herself by writing Tony a long letter of apology.

She also wrote one to his best friend for using him in her deceptive plan. Because she had lost contact with both men, she never mailed the letters. But the act of writing with genuine sincerity was therapeutic.

Dating Black Seniors Need Not flagellate themselves

A few people feel—especially those belonging to certain religious groups, that in order to purify or forgive themselves of wrongdoing—they need to pay penitence to God by self-flagellation. 

This is done by flogging, whipping, piercing, or lashing one’s body, especially the unclothed back until blood is drawn, and often beyond that point.

Hopefully, not many people will feel the call to go to these lengths to assuage their guilt, including those involved in the dating black senior scene.

Sometimes people feel that they have overcome certain issues, only to discover that the problems are still lurking in a corner of the mind, revealing themselves at the worse possible times.

A feeling of guilt—that is, self-criticism and blame—is evident in the individual’s handwriting. This trait, known as self-castigation, reveals itself in the final stroke of the t as it lashes up from right to left over the other letters.

The frequency of this stroke in a handwriting sample indicates how strongly the person holds the feeling of guilt. The example below shows an individual who blames herself for an offense, real or imagined. The t in the word slant rises up and whips to the left over the other letters.

For other examples of self-castigation and for more examples of negative as well as positive traits evidenced in handwriting, check out the book FrogScratch, Handwriting Analysis.

Guilt is a stumbling block to the dating black senior, and in dating in general, as well as in every day relationships with others. It has no value.

Be sure this trait is not creating havoc in your dating experience. To find out what traits your handwriting reveals, check out my Handwriting Services.

Ackerman, A., & Puglisi, B. (2012) p. 82-3. The emotion thesaurus: A writers guide to character expression

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