When Dating the Black Female, is There an Instruction Book?

Dating the Black female may leave some men scratching their heads and looking for an instruction book in order to understand her.

Although many men say that females are difficult to understand, they often look in the wrong direction when trying to do so.

This is often because he may not know that understanding her often starts with learning certain skills, which include listening and observing.

But more about these later.

When dating the Black female, the guy should know that she wants to feel accepted by him and to feel comfortable in his presence.

 This past Mother’s Day, I received a beautiful jar filled with tulips.

On the paper affixed to the jar were instructions on how to care for the tulips and bulbs. It read:

These instructions are invaluable when it comes to keeping the beautiful tulips alive and healthy.

When it comes to dating the Black female, guys sometimes search for instructions on how to keep a relationship with her alive and healthy.

The dynamics of success with her can start with the little things such as watering the relationship with kind words and acts and keeping things thriving with a bright sincere smile from time to time.

Successful relationships grow out of listening. But all too often, people listen with the intent on how they will respond instead of listening to understand.

  In Dating the Black female, Listening to Her words and What Her Body Language Says, Tells Who She is...

David Grossman, on his online Leader Communication blog, gives 8 tips on how to become an active listener. He says to…

  • Approach each dialog with the goal of learning something from the other person.
  • Focus closely on what the other person is saying.
  • Ask open-ended questions of the other rather than asking questions requiring a yes or no answer.
  • Ask specific questions that encourage the other person to give more detailed information.
  • Summarize what you heard and tell the other person in order to make sure what you heard is correct.
  • Nod or smile when the other person is speaking in order to encourage the other person to continue speaking.
  • Realize that the other person gives messages through nonverbal communication, which can enhance your understanding of what is being said.
  • Keep an open mind and respect what the other person has to say even if you don’t agree with it. This keeps communication flowing smoothly.

When dating the Black female, if she feels comfortable with a guy, she will speak more freely and may feel comfortable enough to want to want to continue dating.

Active listening is often a skill that needs to be developed. It isn’t something that is instinctively known for many people.

Active listening is a courtesy that can leave her feeling good about herself, that her thoughts are appreciated, that she's on the same page with him. 

In order for a relationship to thrive, when it comes to dating the Black female, kind acts include opening doors for her, treating her to dinner, and doing other thoughtful deeds.

But developing active listening skills and knowing the value of body language have a profound effect on a relationship.

Working on the above eight points will lead one to master these skills. These skills are needed not only when it comes to dating the Black female, but in everyday life when it becomes necessary to talk with the boss or with peers or when in business negotiations.

Life skills such as these help one to mature rather than just thinking about oneself. These skills offer support and understanding to another.

Whether growing tulips or keeping a relationship alive, there are instructions.

In dating the Black female, the instructions for a successful relationship with her will come directly from her body language and from active listening.

Grossman, David. "The 8 Steps to Active Listening." Internal Communications Agency. Accessed May 13, 2019. https://www.yourthoughtpartner.com/blog/bid/73770/the-8-steps-to-active-listening.

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