Someone who’s an easy lover brings to mind one who’s easy to get along with, one who doesn’t bring a lot of baggage into the relationship. Or one who knows how not to let baggage interfere with a relationship.
This lover has attributes of the patient lover who has a high maturity level, is a gentleman, but who is not to be mistaken for a pushover. The gentle lover is one who is also mature and is gentlemanly and is a problem solver.
The easy lover, the patient lover, and the gentle lover are kinsmen. They all take into account someone’s feelings, not just their own. The easy lover likes peace and quiet. Some people enjoy the passion of an argument. Or a raging debate. Do not look for the easy lover here. He likes life toned down.
Many women will overlook the easy lover, thinking that he doesn’t have the fire and bravado that another male has. Some women don’t always know that this man does have fire—his just may be subdued.
Friends invited Erin to a barbecue. There she met Sammy.
He was handsome and polite. His movements seemed almost effortless, his voice calm.
They subsequently dated several times. But before long Erin began to feel that he wasn’t exciting enough for her. Other than that, she had no other complaints about him. She had feelings for him but was not in love with him. She moved on.
Years later, Erin still had not found the love of her life. She ran into Sammy again. He owned a thriving business.
He was the same levelheaded man she’d known years earlier. His fire, she discovered, was in building a business for himself and his family. Sammy was married with children and had a beautiful home.
Years ago, Erin had felt that he was too boring. But now she realized that he didn’t like to be distracted by too much clubbing or too much hoopla. Sammy was an easy lover type who had his eye on a prize, a peaceful lifestyle.
She felt that he was the one that she let get away, although at the time, her maturity level wasn’t there. She was looking for more fun in life where he was looking for stability. For her, he seemed to be the right guy at the wrong time.
Erin realized that Sammy had been at a place that she didn’t reach until years later. He was at peace. The world was a good place.
Sure there were goals he had reach. But he reached them a step at a time. He focused on the many little things that brought him happiness every day.
Soon his life was filled with these joys. Often, he found the perfect parking spot when he ran late.
Instead of getting involved with road rage, he was grateful that the car that cut him off on the freeway didn’t hit him or anyone else.
Erin mistook Sammy as being a bore. But he was anything but that. His life was filled with quiet mystery. Thinking back, Erin remembered some of his nonverbal communication gestures.
This is not to say that everyone should stay with one whom they deem is an easy lover. He still might not be the right one. But the point is that the guy who doesn’t seem to have much fire, may have plenty of fire.
His passion may not lie in partaking pizza and beer as much as the next guy. His passion may lie in poetry and business ventures.
It’s not a good idea to quickly judge someone and quickly slap a label him. It takes time for someone’s character to unfold. Of course, if one has given the relationship a fair shot, and she knows he’s not the one, it’s time to move on.
But it's possible to overlook Mr. Right. She might make a snap decision about him that she'll later regret.
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