Black Girls Dating Black Guys Should Choose Wisely

Black girls dating Black guys—as well as Black guys dating Black girls—should not be enamored with the first person they meet. Many not-so-nice people inhabit the world.

And many Black girls know this and still gravitate to the guys who mean her no good. Why does she even go there?

For instance, Black girls dating Black guys should entertain those who show no ambition or who are demanding or who are downright rude. It's wise to choose guys who have values and confidence and who are gentlemen.

Of course, girls need to possess these qualities as well in order to attract someone with whom they would be compatible.

There was a television series in the 1970’s titled Kung Fu. A young student played by David Carradine was learning the art of Kung Fu at a monastery. Carradine’s master had a pet name for him and told him, “Choose wisely, Grasshopper.” Since then, the phrase has become popular.

Not only is the phrase popular, but also it’s sage advice.

Choosing wisely means paying attention to another’s character. Black girls dating Black guys should look past any smooth talk or flashy clothes and try to gauge their possible degree of compatibility.

Compatibility is the ability to get along with another person. Sometimes she just knows if the other person is right for her. It’s like trying on an article of clothing. It looks nice and it feels right.

Even in great relationships, couples face challenges. But when the relationship lacks compatibility, the challenges are compounded. It’s not good to force a relationship.

And she could be wasting time when the right one is waiting in the wings.

    What are Some Signs That Alert Girls Dating Black Guys That They May Have Found Someone With Whom They’re Compatible?

According to Raquel Duarte, writing for Thought Catalog, an online website, she says that you shouldn’t try to change each other.

She goes on to say, “You don’t start dating someone because you like a, b, and c about them, but plan on changing d, e, and f later on down the road. You aren’t dating them to change them. You’re dating them because you love who they already are and who they will ever be.”

Duarte says that down the line some things may change. But it should not be from the standpoint of seeing the negative in another but rather strengthening one’s self. 

Duarte also gives these points, which indicate compatibility…

  • The couple is able to reach compromises and have each other’s best interest. Whatever it takes, she will go out of her way for him to win at whatever he’s trying to accomplish. And he does the same for her.
  • The couple knows how to fight—that is, they will not stoop to name-calling or tear each other down. Black girls dating Black guys will realize they need to address problems in the relationship and not pick each other apart. Her partner realizes this as well. The couple works as a team against the problem.
  • Both know each other’s weaknesses and both strive to help each other overcome them. Each, then, knows that the other cares. They know that they’re not alone and that they comprise a team.
  • Each feels safe with the other. This includes physical safety as well as emotional and mental. The couple trusts each other to not leave when times get tough and when they’re at their most vulnerable times.
  • Each brings balance to the other’s life by realizing that each is a blessing. Balance includes stabilization whether it involves ironing out differences in personality, communication, or how one teaches things to the other.

Girls dating Black guys will save themselves a lot of angst when they look for value in a boyfriend.

There are plenty of Black guys who are industrious, that is, they climb the corporate ladder or have their own thriving businesses. Many are kind, witty, and family oriented.

But there are also guys who just like to hang out and talk smack.

Choose wisely, grasshopper!

Duarte, Raquel. "6 Ways To Know If You Are Compatible With Someone (Or If You're Really Not)." Thought Catalog. September 04, 2018. Accessed April 25, 2019.

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