Are Single Black Women Dating Married Men? If So, They Should Listen Up…

Many single Black women are dating married men. Some of these women state that there aren’t enough single black men to go around. Some state they don’t want a serious relationship and that dating a married man won’t be as serious.

Of course there are many other reasons single Black women date married Black men.

Many men, I’m sure, enter into marriage with the idea of being forever faithful. But sometimes the unexpected happens through the years.

Passion wanes and life with his spouse becomes boring and painfully predictable. He then wonders what the rest of the years spent with her would be like.

Single Black women, as well as the married Black man, are apparently not unduly unconcerned about the breach of his marriage vows.

The married man may want out of his marital contract especially if he wants to date. However, he may still be in love with his spouse but doesn’t know how to rekindle the home fires.

When he dates while married, this won’t solve his marital issues, but will compound them.

Is it unreasonable to think that in this big wide world, married couples will never be attracted to another person even when they’re in a committed relationship, including marriage? The challenge is to not act on the temptation.

I heard a minister comment once about dating while married. He cautioned his congregation to not do this.

He said, “If you see someone who looks attractive, do not glance at them a second time. When you flirt with temptation, you give it an avenue to come into your life. And when it comes in, problems come in with it.”

  Single Black Women Dating Married Men Can Unwittingly Open Pandora’s Box

When people are involved in extramarital affairs, they may have little idea of how devastating the outcome can be when the affair is discovered.

Here are some of the outcomes that can come out of Pandora’s box when the affair is exposed…

  • Family breakup. Divorce is often the result of infidelity. The spouse as well as the innocent children suffer.
  • Loss of trust. The wounded party will have difficulty trusting the spouse again even when divorce isn’t sought.
  • Transmission of sexual diseases.
  • Possible kick starting of depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
  • Guilt. All parties can suffer guilt, including the single Black woman in the relationship who deeply regrets the pain she causes.
  • Isolation. All parties may withdraw from social situations due to guilt and shame.

Single Black women should not give in to temptation by dating a married man. In this way, she can keep a lid on Pandora's box.

As for the married man, he should concentrate on strengthening his marriage. He can do this by:

  • Communicating more with his spouse, trying to get to the root of their issues.
  • Planning activities with his spouse, such as starting a gym membership together or hiking together or cooking meals together. He can strive to recapture those activities he did with her before he was married.
  • Becoming more affectionate. Sometimes one person needs to take the lead and make the first move.
  • Guarding against nagging or controlling or critical behavior. These behaviors drive a wedge between affection.
  • Having an attitude of optimism and determination to make his marriage work and to resist the temptation of having an affair.

Of course if a man feels that his marriage is definitely over, he can take steps to end it as amicably as possible. Not all marriages are destined to survive. 

Single Black women should strive to realize that the man she is looking for would come to her without the fetters of marriage.

“Most people cheat because they’re paying more attention to what they’re missing rather than what they have.” –Pinterest.com

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