Women, Stop Dating Men Until You Read This    

Women, stop dating men until you become confident in your own skin. How you feel about yourself broadcasts to them. While men may or may not pick up on it consciously, they do subconsciously.

“Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.”

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s crucial to stop dating men until you pull yourself together, that is, until you get a great concept of yourself. Otherwise your relationships will be tainted by your insecurities. And in the meantime, a good one may have gotten away.

Camille is a pretty, free-spirited young woman, a globetrotter who travels the world in search of herself. She looks great in skinny jeans and could be a poster woman advertising good health. However, it wouldn’t take long to realize that there’s something off about Camille. She’s a bit standoffish and her shoulders sag. And when you talk to her, she complains about her body image. “My legs are too skinny. I have no butt. I have big feet.” Camille stop dating men months ago, complaining that her relationships never worked out.

According to David Garner, contributing writer for Psychology Today, “Our body perceptions, feelings, and beliefs govern our life plan—who we meet, who we marry, the nature of our interactions, our day-to-day comfort level. Indeed, our body is our personal billboard, providing others with first—and sometimes only—impressions.”

Women, Stop Dating Men Until You Can Control the Tape Playing in Your Head  

It’s easy to think that you’re not good enough. If this tape plays in your head often, it’s likely that it started in childhood, stemming from what your parents, teachers, peers, and others said about you. In addition, the tape could’ve started rolling from negative perceptions you conjured up yourself.

Camille, like so many women, may have compared her body to swimsuit models and starlets. Do you strive to look like them? If so, this may be a cause for having low self-esteem.

Even the models and starlets in real life don’t look like the people they portray. Makeup, hair extensions, cosmetic surgery, airbrushing, professional photography, and other props rescue them.

Having confidence requires a healthy self-concept, not only when it comes to casual dating, but also on the job and in relationships with people in general. You need not have a body like the woman above to feel great about yourself.

You are more than just your body, much more. And some women who do have bodies like swimsuit models still have low self-esteem.

If you have an esteem issue, challenge yourself to boost it. Change the tape in your head that’s constantly force-feeding you negative thoughts and images.

Stop dating men for the moment and start improving your self-image. Here’s how:

  • Realize that you must love yourself before you can love someone else.
  • Realize that you’re your own worse critic.
  • Create positive self-talk, that internal dialogue needed to replace the negative talk. Surround yourself with positive quotes and positive people.
  • Buy yourself something classy to wear and take yourself to dinner at a nice restaurant.
  • Strip down in front of a mirror and tell yourself, “I love and appreciate myself.” Repeat this daily using two or three different positive affirmations until you really believe it.
  • Check your progress often. Listen in on your self-talk. Has it become more positive? Is your posture more erect? When someone says you’re beautiful, do you accept it or is a denial ready to grace your lips?
  • Refuse to entertain negative thoughts about yourself. Head them off at the pass. Replace them immediately with positive affirmations.
  • Appreciate your body by thanking it for what it’s doing for you. Thank your feet for providing you a strong foundation for walking and standing. Thank your eyes for giving you images about the world. Thank your ears for the ability to hear the voice of love ones. The more you focus on the positive, the more it will become a habit and you’ll also recognize the positive in others.
  • Do those activities that make you feel uplifted. Is exercise your thing? Then sign up for a gym membership. Feel good through fitness and look good at the same time.
  • Eliminate negativities in your life. If you still have that photo of your last guy, the one who constantly belittled you, get rid of it.

Change the things about yourself that you can and don’t worry about the rest. By the time you finish counting your blessings, your confidence will have soared. And your dating experience will take on new life.

You deserve all the positives life has to offer. Yes you do!

Garner, David. "Body Image In America: Survey Results." Accessed December 19, 2018. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199702/body-image-in-america-survey-results.

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