Want to test your lover? Sometimes it’s very tempting to do so. It’s tempting to see if he’ll remain faithful to you or if another can easily lure him away.
This can be a very unsettling game because, like most games, there is a winner and a loser.
And you do not want to be in a game where you’re the loser. At the same time, you don’t want your lover to lose either.
Sometimes though—due to immaturity—you may yield to temptation, feeling that he’ll never know you’re playing a game on him unless he shows interest in your friend.
And if he does take the bait, what then? You figure you’ll cross that bridge when to come to it.
Want to test your lover? Ask a woman we’ll call Claudia, how it worked out for her.
Claudia had a boyfriend, Jackson, whom she cared for a lot. But she wanted to know how strong his love was for her. She had no overt signs that he was cheating on her or even that he was interested in someone else. Claudia, insecure as heck, decided to put him to the litmus test.
Claudia had one of her friends try to lure Jackson away. The friend went into her bag of womanly wiles and applied them all on Jackson, who immediately rebuffed her advances.
He rebuffed her because he saw through her and Claudia’s charade. He severed his relationship with Claudia and had nothing else to do with her. He didn’t like being played. Game over. Claudia lost.
Testing your lover is an easy way to set yourself up for failure. Even if he rebuffs the other woman and you figure you won’t tell him he was in a game, he’ll know instinctively.
Men are intuitive also. Besides, someone may have run a similar game on him. He’ll feel that there’s something about you that isn’t quite genuine. Hidden things will come to light. This includes deceitful character traits.
Trust is important in a casual relationship because it lets you know that your lover has your back, that the two of you form a unit, a strong foundation that’s needed to weather storms. Trust implies that you’re going in the same direction.
In some instances during black dating, spying on another happens. However, the act of spying is betrayal itself. Spying includes going through his cell phone looking for women’s phone numbers, listening in on his phone conversations, or going through his personal belongings.
An abiding love cannot grow here.
When there is trust, there is no need to spy. Trust builds over time and is intolerant of games.
These ways help to promote trust in one another:
Life is short. Trust is important. Games can be played with each other but should not be played on each other. You will know soon enough if your partner is trustworthy, but trust needs to start with you.
Want to test your lover? Forget about it!!!
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” –Ernest Hemmingway
“A healthy relationship is built on unwavering trust.” –Beau Mirchoff
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